What's On Perry's Mind: Attack of the Date
by PS2wizard
Summary: This is from "Get That Bigfoot Out Of My Face". Perry is trapped during one of Doofenshmirtz's dates and has perry met his match? Find out.


What's On Perry's Mind: My Date with Doofenshmirtz

Sorry that I haven't written any for awhile. I'm working on another story, it should be on my profile.

It was a beautiful summer's day at Betty Joe and Grandpa Clyde's house as Phineas and Isabella walked to get some "vittles".

Phineas: Hey, where's Perry?

Perry is seen in the woods with his hat on and hiding behind a tree. He knocks it 10 times, waits a second a knocks again, opening a hidden slide. He jumps into the secret passage, runs into some cobwebs, and ends up sliding into the hideout, almost knocking over a blue vase with flower in it. He puts the vase down and sits in his chair where Major Monogram is already on the screen.

Major Monogram: Sorry about that Agent P. We haven't used that tree slide in years. Not since I was at (pause) the Academy.

Major Monogram bites his lower lip and looks into space while Perry wipes off his hat.

Perry's Mind: Here we go again.

Major Monogram: Anyway, Doofenshmirtz seems to be up to something, Agent P. He's hold up at his evil woodland retreat. Your mission is to find out what he's up to.

Perry zips out dashes out to the exit.

Major Monogram: Please Agent P. Be careful.

Later that night, Perry hang glides onto Doofenshmirtz's roof.

Perry's Mind: I never thought I could get out of that hideout. If Monogram wasn't spaced out I could have gotten out sooner.

He removers the hang glider and looks at Doofenshmirtz using his computer. Perry takes out some rope and begins to climb in.

Doofenshmirtz: Ha ha. Tonight, it all happens tonight.

As Perry pulls out some binoculars, he starts swinging and drops them. Doofenshmirtzs hears them and sees Perry.

Doofenshmirtz: (Gasp) Perry the Platypus! How unexpected. And by unexpected I mean ... unexpected, what are you doing here, this is my week off.

Perry notices a candle lit table with two glasses.

Perry's Mind: An imaginary date Doof? Again?

Doofenshmirtz: Oh that uh well uh. Well I suppose you should know I've - I've started dating again. I met someone online.

Perry's Mind: Like that one person who ended up crashing your computer or the who kept stabbing you with a fork?

Perry lowers himself down and unties himself. Then he decides to leave.

Doofenshmirtz: I know what you're thinking, but we are meeting tonight for the first time and I - oh you got to go.

Before he reaches the door, the doorbell rings.

Doofenshmirtz: Oh no Perry the Platypus, she can't see you. She doesn't know I have a nemesis. Oh and I don't have time to destroy you. You could be my pet. You think you can act like a mindless animal.

Perry's Mind: It's the fork lady all over again.

The Date: Oh hello, I'm looking for "Strudlekitty4427". Well, aren't you the cutest little thing.

Perry's Mind: I prefer charming.

She picks him up and nuzzles him.

The Date: Are you my date for this evening?

Doofenshmirtz: No, no ah heh. That would be me. I'm Studlekitty4427. Nice to meet you, this is my pet platypus. He was just going outside for a nightly walk.

The Date: Awww. Can I hold him a little longer. He's so sweet. Oh yes yes yes you are.

Perry's Mind: Charming.

Doofenshmirtz: I guess he could stay a little bit. But you know what they say. Three's a crowd and what not.

Half an hour later.

The Date: (to Perry) You are the cutest thing I've ever seen. Yes you are, yes you are.

Perry's Mind: I get that a lot.

Doofenshmirtz: You know some people say we look alike.

The Date: No, I don't think so. Not at all, no not at all.

Doofenshmirtz: Darling you haven't even touched your cucumber water. I made it especially for you.

Perry's Mind: (sarcastically) Classy.

The Date: You know Strudlekitty4427 was a lot less needy online.

Perry's Mind:He gets that alot to. O yes yes...

Doofenshmirtz: (Sigh) I'm going to get some air.

Perry's Mind: Take me with you! She's too needy!

The Date: Would you some kissies? (Kissing noises)

Perry's Mind: Stop it. It's getting smeared.

Doofenshmirtz: AHHHHHHHHH!

The Date: You are just so cute, I could eat you up. Is it lonely up her with Strudlekitty4427? Is it, is it? All scary with big foot lurking around.

Snap.

The Date: What was that? You better stay here while I investigate.

Perry's Mind: Freedom! Now to give Doofenshmirtz some alone time.

Perry climbs up the rope to the roof and uses his parachute to escape.

The Date: Strudelkitty4427? Whoops.

As Agent P lands in the woods, he unstraps and goes into pet mode.

Perry's Mind: I wonder what Phineas and Ferb are up to? Better then being with that psycho Bigfoot believer.

Kids: AAHHHHHHHHHH! BIGFOOT!

Phineas: AHHHHH! Oh there you are Perry. Come on boy, we got to go. BIGFOOT ATE CANDACE!

Perry's Mind: I have mixed feelings right now.

After rounding up the kids and calming them down, the kids sit down.

Candace: Ha ha ha. I sure got guys. You should have seen your faces. Only unsophisticated immature brains would believe in monsters.

Perry's Mind: And people who date over the Internet.

Candace: Yes it takes a mature adult, such as myself, to know that there's no such thing.. as... BIGFOOT! AAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

As Candace runs inside, the kids and Perry look behind them and see nothing.

Baljeet: I do not believe her one bit. Too much overacting.

Everyone: Yeah. Uh-huh.

Buford: I smell ham.

Phineas: Hey perry, why are you covered in lipstick?

Perry's Mind: She came on to me.

Later that night, Doofenshmirtz is on his profile.

Doofenshmirtz: Aside from being chased by puppets, I've had better dates. I wonder why she came so early, oh well. Time to update my date site profile. (Talking while talking) Update change. Looking for women who like cucumber water, don't believe in Bigfoot, and HATE PLATYPUSES! Or should it be Platypi?

The End


End file.
